Friday, August 3, 2007

A Place to Start....

Well, I guess this will start a new blog for me, somewhere to work out my thoughts/feelings about this wonderful Infertility journey I'm on.

Basically, every day feels like a rollercoaster. Most days it feels like everywhere I go and everywhere I look, there is something that smacks me in the face of the fact that I haven't been able to get PG!!! Babies in carts, PG woman, or worse yet, PG teens, commercials on TV, the baby aisle in the grocery store that is conveniently placed across from the cookies or better yet the juice!!!

I see little babies and toddlers and I instantly ache inside. My heart feels empty, and my brain goes into overdrive and I wonder if I'll ever get my chance. My heart also aches at the fact that I feel as though I am depriving my husband of his chance to be a father. He and I have talked about this multiple times, and I know that he loves me entirely and doesn't share my ill feelings about robbing him.

I honestly do believe deep down that we will have a child, I just fear when as I'm certainly not getting any younger.

Okay-- I won't carry on and on as this is my first blog here. But I'm gonna try to come here everytime IF is pushing me over the edge (which is ridiculously frequent these days!)

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